Candid CoDA

6:30 PM
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Time Out

0:30
The Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
The group may choose to say the Serenity Prayer before continuing.
Meeting Resources and Materials
Reference Sheet
Laminated, one per seat
Bowl Card
Placed on the bowl
CoDA Links

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Themes re-skin the app without changing behavior. All timers, readings, time-out, fullscreen & section logic from the alpha are preserved.
▶Opening Facilitator / Secretary6:30-6:45
15 min▶
Newcomer WelcomeFacilitator~2 min▶
Welcome to Candid CoDA, a CoDA discussion meeting.
If anyone has attended fewer than six CoDA meetings, please raise your hand.
(Welcome newcomers.)
Please make yourself every bit as much at home in this meeting as someone who has been here a long time. This is your meeting too.
Near the end of the meeting, chips will be available. CoDA literature generally advises attending at least six meetings to help evaluate if the program fits.
IntroductionsEveryone~5 min▶
Let’s go around the room. Please introduce yourself by first name, however you identify, and share one thing you are grateful for.
(Everyone introduces themselves.)
Moment of SilenceFacilitator~30s▶
You are invited to take a moment of silence, which will be followed by the CoDA Opening Prayer.
(Pause. Look at the room, making sure to see everyone, then nod to begin the prayer.)
CoDA Opening PrayerEveryone~20s▶
In the spirit of love and truth, we ask our Higher Power to guide us as we share our experience, strength, and hope. We open our hearts to the light of wisdom, the warmth of love and the joy of acceptance.
Safety StatementFacilitator~40s▶
This meeting is a place where everyone belongs. We treat each other with respect. If a moment gets heated, anyone can call a "time out" of thirty seconds. During that time, we stop talking, take a breath, and seek guidance from our Higher Power. At the end of the thirty seconds, someone calls "time" and the group may choose to say the Serenity Prayer before continuing.
If someone uses violent language or expresses threats, they will be asked to leave. If this happens three times, they may be asked to leave permanently.
(Adapted from the CoDA Fellowship Service Manual and CoDA’s Disagreement, Mediation and Resolution)
Crying / TissuesFacilitator~20s▶
It is okay to cry. All are encouraged to allow others to process their own feelings. There are tissues and water at every table. As prescribed by CoDA’s For Safety Sake guidelines: "I let others experience their own feelings; I keep my advice to myself."
PreambleVolunteer~1 min▶
Co-Dependents Anonymous is a Fellowship of people whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. We gather together to support and share with each other in a journey of self-discovery -- learning to love the self. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors.
We rely upon the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. In CoDA, we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding, and we allow others the same privilege.
This renewal process is a gift of healing for us. By actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives.
Welcome (short)Volunteer~2 min▶
We welcome you to Co-Dependents Anonymous - a program of recovery from codependence, where each of us may share our experience, strength, and hope in our efforts to find freedom where there has been bondage, and peace where there has been turmoil in our relationships with others and ourselves.
Codependence is a deeply-rooted, compulsive behavior. It is born out of our sometimes moderately, sometimes extremely dysfunctional families and other systems. We attempted to use others as our sole source of identity, value, well-being, and as a way of trying to restore our emotional losses. Our histories may include other powerful addictions which we have used to cope with our codependency.
We have all learned to survive life, but in CoDA we are learning to live life. Through applying the Twelve Steps and principles found in CoDA to our daily lives and relationships, both present and past, we can experience a new freedom from our self-defeating lifestyles. Our sharing helps us to free the emotional bonds of our past and the compulsive control of our present.
No matter how traumatic your past or despairing your present may seem, there is hope for a new day in the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. May you find a new strength within to be that which God intended - Precious and Free.
Twelve StepsVolunteer(s)~1 min▶
1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other codependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Arriving (check-in)Facilitator~2 min▶
Who are you sitting next to? Please take a moment to acknowledge each other for showing up tonight.
(Give a moment.)
On a scale of one to five, hold up the number of fingers that shows how present you feel in this moment.
Breathe. Notice where you are holding tension right now. You don’t have to do anything about it. Just notice it. In a moment we will read the traditions.
(15 seconds of quiet.)
Twelve TraditionsVolunteer(s)~2 min▶
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon CoDA unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -- a loving Higher Power as expressed to our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.
4. Each group should remain autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or CoDA as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to other codependents who still suffer.
6. A CoDA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the CoDA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.
7. Every CoDA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Co-Dependents Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. CoDA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. CoDA has no opinion on outside issues; hence the CoDA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, television and all other public forms of communication.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
▶Discussion Facilitator / Timekeeper6:45-7:33
48 min▶
Guidelines and TopicFacilitator~3 min▶
We discuss utilizing our own experience, strength, and hope on the topic. I use "I" statements when sharing. I don’t give advice, fix, or direct my sharing at another person. If something another person said resonated, the phrase "as previously shared" can be used. Say "thank you" to signal when you have finished sharing. Profanity is discouraged.
(Read the topic question and the CoDA pattern and recovery quotes that go with it.)
Open DiscussionParticipants~45 min▶
Participants share on the topic. The Timekeeper manages individual sharing time (3-5 minutes per person) and calls an end to the discussion when time is up.
▶Twelve Promises Volunteer7:33-7:35
2 min▶
I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...
1. I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
2. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
3. I know a new freedom.
4. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
5. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
6. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
7. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
8. I learn that it is possible to mend - to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
9. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
10. I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
11. I trust the guidance I receive from my Higher Power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
12. I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.
▶Heart Openings Facilitator / Participants7:35-7:45
10 min▶
This time is for heart openings. All are encouraged to share what opened up for them during the discussion. There may be extended periods of silence as people reflect, and that is okay.
▶Announcements GSR7:45-7:48
3 min▶
(The GSR reads any prepared announcements, then asks:)
Are there any other CoDA related announcements?
▶7th Tradition Treasurer7:48-7:50
2 min▶
Each CoDA meeting is self-supporting through the voluntary contributions of those who attend. There are no dues or fees. Newcomers are encouraged to hold on to their contribution and consider picking up a piece of CoDA literature instead.
(Pass the basket around the room.)
▶Chips Volunteer7:50-7:53
3 min▶
Newcomer chips and anniversary chips are available to anyone. Once a chip is received, it may be passed to the left so that any fellow traveler may choose to offer a silent blessing, passing it to the next person once they are done. Anyone celebrating a recovery anniversary is invited to share a few words.
(Offer chips. When someone receives a chip, it gets passed to the left for the silent blessing ritual.)
▶Officers & Etc Literature Officer7:53-7:54
1 min▶
Your officers are: GSR, Treasurer, Secretary, Literature.
CoDA literature is available, and some copies can be purchased with cash.
A CoDA literature study group also meets at the same time and place on Thursday nights.
Group conscience meets the first Thursday of every month, immediately after the Thursday night meeting ends at 7:30 PM.
▶Anonymity Volunteer7:54-7:54
15 sec▶
CoDA is an anonymous program. What you see here, what is said here, when you leave here, let it stay here.
▶Meeting End Facilitator7:54-7:55
45 sec▶
CSC Motion #24063 from the 2024 CoDA Conference restricts us to only using CoDA endorsed literature. Immediately after this last sentence is read, tonight’s CoDA meeting will be over.
Tonight’s CoDA Meeting has ended.
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The Gestalt Prayer

I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

and you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I,

and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.

If not, it can't be helped.

Fritz Perls, Gestalt Therapy Verbatim, Real People Press, 1969.

CoDA readings used under the reproduction grant to CoDA groups.

Candid CoDA

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6:30 PM
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Before we begin
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Letting Go
You're invited (never required) to drop something in the bowl on your way in.
A pebble from your pocket. A receipt. A scrap of paper. Whatever you're carrying.
At the end of the meeting, the bowl will be removed and the things you put in it you will never see again.